SHADOW WORK
- My How-To for Shadow Work — which I highly recommend for those with planets in the 4th, 8th, or 12th Houses (natally, by progression, or by transit) and/or for those dealing with chronic physical pain
Books:
- Mysteries of the Dark Moon: The Healing Power of the Dark Goddess by Demetra George
- Finding Our Way Through the Dark by Demetra George
- Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
- Dispelling Wetiko: Breaking the Curse of Evil by Paul Levy
inner child work
Conversations on the SelfHealers Soundboard:
- Meet Your Inner Child (YouTube)
- Everything You Need to Know About Your Inner Child (YouTube)
- Everything Inner Child Part 2 (YouTube)
- The Inner Child Archetype: Exploring the Why of Your Self-Abandonment (YouTube)
- Your Inner Child and Its Archetypal Survival Team (YouTube)
- Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child by John Bradshaw
- Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child by Thich Nhat Hanh
The will, which is the driving force of the personality and the deepest energy of love, is shamed in early childhood. The willful, stubborn child was and is the prime target of patriarchy. What a king wants is willing subjects. Kings want their people to conform. So the child's willpower must be crushed at an early age. I often marvel when people are perplexed by the massive amount of addiction in our culture. Addicts are accused of lacking willpower, but my belief is that we systematically train addicts . . . . The training for addiction comes from abandonment, abuse, and enmeshment. Each of these is toxically shaming.
From Creating Love by John Bradshaw
Parenting and RePARENTING YOURSELF
Books:
- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
- Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn
- Parenting with Presence: Practices for Raising Conscious, Confident, Caring Kids by Susan Stiffelman
- Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate
- The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
As we search for our own truth and begin the quest for loving ourselves, so that we can be our own good enough mother to ourselves, we need to keep in mind that birth comes out of darkness. And in the ancient tradition of the alchemists, darkness was a necessary condition for purification and transformation. The reality of the early events in our lives and their powerful emotions that we have tried to keep away locked in the dark... need to be brought into the light so we can begin refining them through our hearts until compassion can turn them into gold.
From Into the Heart of the Feminine by Massimilla Harris and Bud Harris
interGenerational / ancestral trauma
Books:
- Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance by Kelly McDaniel
- Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters by Susan Forward
- The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting by Alice Miller
- The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller
- For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-rearing and the Roots of Violence by Alice Miller
- Beyond Victim Consciousness by Lynne Forrest
Where love reigns, there is no will to power; and where the will to power is paramount, love is lacking. The one is but the shadow of the other. . . an unconscious Eros always experiences itself as a will to power.
-C. G. Jung
love & relationships
Conversations on the SelfHealers Soundboard:
- How Trauma Shows Up in Relationships (video version)
- Intimacy is More Than Sex (video version)
Books:
- Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships by John Welwood
- The Dharma of the Princess Bride by Ethan Nichtern
- How To Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
- Creating Love by John Bradshaw
- all about love: new visions by bell hooks
- Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection by Sharon Salzberg
- We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love by Robert A. Johnson
A true partner or friend is one who encourages you to look deep inside yourself for the beauty and love you've been seeking.
-Thich Nhat Hanh
working with emotions
Books:
- The Places That Scare You by Pema Chödrön
- Taking the Leap by Pema Chödrön
- When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by
Pema Chödrön
- Wisdom Rising: Journey into the Mandala of the Empowered Feminine by Lama Tsultrim Allione
- In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness by Peter A. Levine
- Allowing Our Anger (video version)
- How To Release Our Anger (video version)
Staying with volatile energy gradually becomes more comfortable than acting it out or repressing it. This open-ended tender place is called bodhichitta. Staying with it is what heals. It allows us to let go of our self-importance. It's how the warrior learns to love.
From The Places That Scare You by Pema Chödrön
the dark feminine
Books:
- Into the Heart of the Feminine: Facing the Death Mother Archetype to Reclaim Love, Strength, and Vitality by Massimilla Harris and Bud Harris
- Descent to the Goddess: A Way of Initiation for Women by Sylvia Brinton Perera (read an excerpt here)
- Dancing in the Flames: The Dark Goddess in the Transformation of Consciousness by Marion Woodman and Elinor Dickson